So many beautiful newborn babies around! It is amazing! I am so happy for their families! It brings me a lot of joy to see the happy families.
But it hurts me on the inside. Everytime I see a mom snuggling their child, my heart aches a little bit. I see nursing mothers and I want that so bad. I see new dads high off of happiness at their new families, and my heart aches a little more. I want my own family. I really enjoy other peoples childrens, and I love kids, and I love love love love babies, but I am so ready to have my own. Sometimes I shy away from holding a baby because it makes that longing grow so much deeper. The smell of a baby, their movements, there reactions, there little fingers, there little toes, there lips, eyes, everything. I would be a good mom. I would. I could use more patience, and understanding, but I would love that child with all my heart. I am so ready to just be on the path in my life to becoming a mother. I really am. When I see a mother nursing her child or cuddling her child. I know what it feels like to snuggle a baby and get hugs, and that feeling is amazing, but I can't imagine the feeling of it being your own. and I want that. I want that so bad. I always try and keep my infertility upbeat and be non chalant about it, but sometimes it is just freeeeaaaakkkinnnn hard. I know God's timing is perfect and he usually isn't early and he is never late (quote from Joyce Meyer) but I am really hoping that I am really really really near His perfect timing. With all these beautiful babies surrounding me, it makes it hard. I struggle, yet I appreciate.